Monday, October 21, 2013

Sweet Pea !

 Meet Sweet Pea ! and Enjoy !

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When no more ferrets, ..., there is Sweet Pea !

Allo everybody

Again thank you to all of you who take the time and the courage to
write to me sharing their happiness as their tears of sorrow. Thank
you also for all those very nice words and compliments concerning my
photography. But you you know, the models did all the work, a very
good job. Without my models, there will be no soul on my work.

And now ... yes there is a new angel in my life. The spca called me
telling me they had a beautiful and gentle abandonned ferret. I know
nothing about him, no information.

He had an appointment with my vet and he is perfectly healthy! Yeah!
I named him Sweet Pea! He is approximatively 2 years old. My vet gave
him the vaccine and also the Deslorelin implant.

Sweet Pea isn't litter trained, but do in the same spot. If I put the
litter pan at this spot, my intelligent little boy push it to make his
poops and pee back the litter pan! lol

At our first time at the SPCA, when I took him in my arms he put his
head in my neck and didn't move all the time during the papers and
forms...He fell aslepp in my harms. He adopted me for sure. There
was also no doubts in my headabout what I was doing.

And Voila! I know one day I will again be in a big sorrow, but I
will try to live one day by day and thank the life for what it is
given to me.

Doodle, Lil Bear, Nahum, Anika, Cody, Apollo are still in my heart as
the others pets who shared their so precious life with me. Their pain,
sorrow and loud cries are wounds on my heart and the scars will never

Again thank you to each of you who have supported me in this tragic
time in my life.

With Love,
Marie-Agnes and Sweet Pea

Marie-Agnes Doodle & Bear
Anika & Cody & Apollo at the Rainbow with Charly at their side :(

When there is no more ferrets ?

When there is no more ferrets?

Hi everybody,

I want to know if some people have been in similar situation that mine,
and what way they took...

I lost my last little girl Doodle, one month ago. She was 7 and was
insulinoma and lymphoma. I helped her to cross the rainbow bridge to
stop her pain...

I get my first ferret from a petshop 10 years ago, it was the April 1st
2003, he was a kit of 10 weeks. I named him Nahum. And I adopted Anika
from the Ottawa' rescue. And came in my life Appolo and Cody ... And
came this adorable Lil Bear and then Doodle.

I lost them because illness, heart disease (Nahum), heart attack
(Appolo), adrenal (Cody) Lymphoma (Anika) Brain cancer (Lil Bear)
and Insulinoma and lymphoma (Doodle).

Each time I lost one, there were a little another one still alive and
needing me and waiting after me.

I bought only Nahum (at this time I knew nothing about ferrets) and
Anika (I knew a little more).

Appolo, Cody, Lil Bear and Doodle were all given to me time to time.

When Nahum crossed the bridge, he joined Anika, Appolo and Cody, those
3 already left me.

And stays only Lil Bear with me.

And I said no more ferret, Lil Bear will be the last one. It is too
hard to go through ...

Time passed ...

And I get a phone call from my veterinary about Doodle. Her previous
human mom was sick (liver cancer)

It took me more than 2 weeks to think about this little girl. My mind
said no, my heart didn't know. I talked a lot with ferrets people from
a forum where I belong... and people convinced me to take her, saying
that it was Nahum's sign.

Omg it was a sign from Nahum for sure ! She looked as Nahum but in a
girly way. Same size, same color. She was certainly a gift of God,
she was the cream of cake.

2 years later ...

I lost my Lil Bear...I helped him to cross the bridge on March 08
after a long night of horrible seizures ... Do you ever hear a
ferret screaming? There is no word for to express how horrible it
is. At each seizure there were those screams coming from his soul.

I am not able to talk about this and still crying to write this.

And then, my Sweet Doodle on July 08 ...

Not only my heart is broken, it is all me who is broken.

It is like I am punished for to have been so loved by those angels.

I am a lonely woman, since 10 years only my ferrets shared life with
me with my dog Charly who left me 4 years ago and my cat Basile who
passed in April.

Now it is with big anxiety that I come back to home, my empty home,
with big anxiety I go to my bed, empty and cold bed...

Empty cage, big tunnels, toys, beddings, carriers, fences, litter
pans, and those plenty bags of n bones, and jars of baby food and...

No more ferrets? Can we live with no more ferrets?

People says time helps to heal and that we need to keep the good
memories ...

At this time I only see darkness, I shall have wanted to die with
Doodle. I have pain, just crying all the time, but I want to cry my
babies because I love them. But in another side, I want the pain to
stop and wish to have never gone through all those deaths.

Does some of you say: no more ferrets!...  and you are still with no

And are ferrets from serious breeders without those illness that our
Canadians ferrets get in early age ?

Now that I wrote all this, I wonder why I did it

Anyway you are welcome to answer me privately if you prefers

Hug all your babies for me

Thank you
Marie-Agnes (aka Yukkabelle)

Doodle, Doudou, ma Douce ...

July 08 2013

Doodle, Doudou, ma Douce ...
N'est plus...

Tout est arrivé  si vite : Lymphoma Insulinoma, paroi de  l'intestin ou de l'estomac amincit par le prednisone ... fissure ... et gaz plein le petit vente .... intoxication ...

Et merde , franchement j'aurai voulu que le vet me gaze avec elle et me pique dans le cœur  pour m'injecter cette mort rose en plein cœur.

Oui je suis restée avec elle tout le long et si pacte avec le  diable avait été possible ...

Je voudrai mourir ... eux sont tous morts ...
La maison vide, le lit vide, tout est vide
Les souvenirs ... Ah! Ahhhh oui les souvenirs ...
sont comme  des poignards dans le cœur ....
La Mort rose, mais pas assez rose
parce que je ne meurs pas moi!

Ostie je suis toujours en VIE avec mes souvenirs !

Qu'est -ce ça donne ?

Tue moi espèce d'ignorant
Chien sale d' ecoeurant
Je veux partir moi aussi!
Pour être avec elle
Pour être avec lui
Pour être avec eux

Toux ceux qui me laissent des souvenirs
Qui ne sont tortures  
Et sel sur mes plaies

Je pourrais souffrir mille maux
Cracher tout mon venin
Vomir mes tripes
Ah oui ouii ouiiiiii
M'écarter les cotes a mains nues
M'arracher le cœur

Mourir !
C'est ça de t0ute façon la vie ... c'est juste mourir
Un petit peu
Un petit peu plus chaque jour ...

Chaque jour est trop long...
Ramène moi mes bébés

Et en plus t'es sourd

Je meurs déjà
Mon âme sent les patates pourries
Un corps vivant et tout pourrit  en dedans

Laisse le temps ...
le Temps fait sa besogne et la souffrance s'adoucit
Ostie temps de merde ...
Tu m' ecoeures !
Va donc chiez ... allez tous chiez et beurrer vous au nom de Saint-Temps !

Vous n'avez rien compris !
Je suis certaine que vous n'avez rien compris ...( soupirs...)
Allez ... allez ..... ALLEZ !!!
Combien d'entre vous ont trouvé le Nirvana juste en enfouissant sa tête
Dans la fourrure d'un furet  ?

Je le savais !

Combien d'entre vous a respiré, humé ... la queue d'un furet ?

Je le savais, vous n'avez rien compris...

Ma source de vie...
Je ne suis plus ...


In English ? Depending how is the interest I will do the translation.
If someone understand what I feel and want to translate ... tell me ..